Aligning Wealth Management with ESG Values
EP Wealth’s Carrie Sax, CFA, CFP® shares insights on ESG investing, explaining how it adds a layer of due diligence while helping clients align...
Andy Thomas, CFP®, CPA
Vice President, Advisor
Denver - Tech Center, Colorado
Talking finances with your parents can be difficult for everyone. Learn how to have an honest conversation about money with your aging parents today.
Members of the sandwich generation often find themselves in a tough spot—caring for their kids while also supporting aging parents.
Thanks to advances in medical science, people are living longer than ever. But that gift comes with challenges. Many retirees find themselves outliving their savings, dealing with costly medical conditions, or facing the unexpected consequences of financial missteps. On top of that, other factors, like rising healthcare costs or insufficient planning, can quickly deplete a parent’s finances.
This can lead to a difficult and emotional role reversal, where adult children step in to support their parents. For caregivers, it often feels like an impossible balancing act—prioritizing a parent’s financial needs, saving for personal retirement, or helping kids achieve their educational dreams.
That’s why it’s so important to start the conversation early. By having open and honest discussions now, you can work together to plan ahead, guiding your parents to maintain their financial independence while preserving your family’s future.
As your parents age, subtle changes in their behavior can serve as early indicators of financial distress. These might include:
At the same time, cognitive decline can compound financial challenges. Research indicates that approximately two out of three Americans experience some degree of cognitive impairment by an average age of 70.
This often leads to diminished financial capacity—an inability to manage money effectively or make sound financial decisions. Signs of this might include:
If you notice shifts in your parents’ attitudes or behaviors around money, it’s time to start a conversation. Even if they aren’t showing these warning signs yet, discussing finances now might potentially help avoid misunderstandings, manage future problems, and help assure their financial well-being could be preserved as they age.
Discussing finances with your aging parents can feel daunting. It’s a sensitive topic, and many parents may resist the conversation out of pride, fear, or a desire to protect their independence.
Before initiating the conversation, identify what you hope to achieve. This could include:
Once you’ve determined your goals, approach the discussion with empathy and respect. Choose a moment when everyone is calm, and bring it up in a casual, non-confrontational way. For example:
Having this conversation in a “safe” environment may also be helpful. Try to choose a familiar and private setting where your parents feel at ease—perhaps over a family dinner or during a quiet afternoon at home. Additionally, limiting the audience to only the most trusted family members, such as siblings or a close relative, may help keep the discussion relaxed and open.
By approaching the topic with empathy, respect, and a clear sense of purpose, you can create a collaborative environment where everyone feels heard and supported.
Getting a clear picture of your parents’ financial situation can help prepare you for the challenges that come with aging. Many older adults face common financial pitfalls that can impact their security. These include:
First, determine where your parents stand financially, reviewing their income sources, savings, debts, and monthly expenses. This will help you identify areas where adjustments might be needed, such as high-interest debt or excessive discretionary spending.
If changes are required, consider strategies to help them regain financial stability:
Taking these steps can help your parents build towards a sustainable plan for their golden years while maintaining their independence and financial well-being.
Having the right estate planning documents in place is crucial to create a plan to ensure your parents' wishes are honored and their financial and medical decisions are managed according to their preferences.
Here’s a list of documents every aging parent should have:
Having these documents in place not only provides an intentional plan but can also minimize confusion and stress during difficult times.
Helping your aging parents financially can be seen as a significant act of love and support, but it’s crucial to approach this responsibility with caution. While your instinct may be to step in and provide assistance, remember that jeopardizing your own financial security to help them may create challenges for your future—and potentially leave you needing support down the road.
Start by assessing your financial situation honestly. Determine how much you can realistically contribute without disrupting your own financial goals. If necessary, consider alternative ways to assist your parents, such as helping them create a budget, consolidating debts, or exploring government benefits and assistance programs they may qualify for.
If you have siblings, make it a priority to involve them in the conversation. Discuss how you can work together to share responsibilities—both financial and non-financial—to ensure fairness and avoid placing too much burden on one person. This might include dividing costs for caregiving, splitting time to handle errands, or pooling resources to hire professional help if needed.
By setting boundaries and working collaboratively, you can preserve your own financial well-being while working towards seeing your parents receive the support they need in a sustainable way.
We know that financial decision-making gets harder with age. Our increasingly digital world can leave many seniors at risk of financial fraud. The availability of low-cost AI tools has led to a significant increase in the amount and sophistication of cybercrime and fraud.
Below are some concrete things that you can start to do today with your aging parents to educate and potentially help protect them, their assets, and their future. Many of the items listed are best practices for us to take to protect ourselves.
Helping aging parents manage their finances while staying on top of your own can feel overwhelming, especially for members of the sandwich generation balancing multiple responsibilities. That’s where a financial advisor can make all the difference.
With tailored advice, clear strategies, and an objective perspective, a trusted advisor can help you craft a plan that addresses your unique circumstances, striving for the financial well-being of both you and your parents. They can also facilitate challenging conversations in a supportive and neutral way, helping to navigate sensitive topics with care and understanding.
At EP Wealth, we recognize the complexity of this situation and have helped countless clients find balance in caring for their loved ones while securing their own financial future. Our experienced team can assist with creating a sustainable budget, managing healthcare costs, planning for long-term care, and navigating estate planning, tax strategies, and government benefits to possibly ease the financial burden.
You don’t have to face this alone. Let us help you create a comprehensive plan intended to provide clarity, confidence, and financial peace of mind.
Disclosures:
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