Collaborative Divorce vs. Traditional Divorce: Which is Right for You?
Collaborative divorce often offers a cooperative, cost-saving alternative to traditional divorce. EP Wealth’s Regional Director, Kelly Owens, CFP®,...
Kelly Owens, CFP®, CDFA®
Regional Director, Partner
Fort Wright, Kentucky
EP Wealth’s Regional Director, Kelly Owens, CFP®, CDFA®, shares how working with a financial advisor during divorce can help you become aware of costly mistakes and plan more confidently for your financial future.
When it comes to the financial side of divorce, you often only have one chance to get it right. Once the agreement is signed, the decisions you’ve made are final. You can’t go back a year later and say, “I wish I’d done that differently.” That’s why working with a financial advisor and other professionals during divorce can be so important. You want to make sure you’ve thought through every implication and explored every option before you commit to something that will have such a major impact on the rest of your life. Your lifestyle, your retirement, your children’s education – all of these will be significantly affected by the financial decisions you make as part of divorce negotiations.
As a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst®, my role is to help you separate emotions from the hard numbers and make informed decisions that are in your best interests both now and for the long term.
One of the biggest mistakes I see people make during divorce is assuming all assets are created equal. They’re not. For example, there’s taxable money and there’s pre-tax money, and those two categories behave very differently.
In divorce situations, someone might say, “I’ll take the equity in the house, and my ex can keep the retirement account.” On the surface, that might sound like an even trade, but those two assets behave very differently over time. The house may appreciate, but it also comes with property taxes, maintenance, and other costs. The retirement account, on the other hand, continues to grow tax-deferred, with the potential to accumulate significantly over the years.
If you don’t account for those differences, you might think you’re getting an even split when really you’re not. A financial advisor can help compare apples to apples when dividing assets.
Here are a few other common financial missteps I see during divorce:
When you’re in the middle of a divorce, it’s easy to focus only on what feels immediately urgent. A financial advisor helps you take a step back, understand the broader picture, and make decisions with your future in mind.
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Divorce often involves handling assets, taxes, and future planning considerations that most people don’t deal with regularly. Having an advisor brings a different level of experience and objectivity with the goal of helping you see things more clearly and make choices with greater confidence.
One of the benefits of working with a financial advisor during divorce is having someone with the experience to recognize potential issues that won’t be top-of-mind for most people. When you don’t work with finances or divorce cases every day, there are lots of subtle details that can get overlooked.
You don’t know what you don’t know. As a financial advisor who has spent years working with divorcing clients, it’s my job to bring non-obvious issues to your attention, whether that has to do with the tax implications of asset division, life insurance gaps, underestimating your liquidity, or something else. Knowing what to look for can help reduce the chance of mistakes that might otherwise go unnoticed until it’s too late to fix them.
Divorce is emotional, and emotions can cloud decision-making. I see this often, for example, when it comes to the family home. Many people feel deeply attached to their home and want to keep it, even when doing so may not be the most sustainable move financially.
My role is to take the emotion out of those decisions and look strictly at the numbers. I outline the true costs of keeping the house, including property taxes, insurance, and maintenance, and then compare that to what your financial picture could look like if you sold and downsized. When you can see those trade-offs in stark black and white, it becomes easier to make a clear-headed decision.
By focusing on the numbers, an advisor can help you make decisions that are grounded in financial reality rather than the stress or sentiment of the moment.
In divorce, everything changes all at once. Many people understandably go into survival mode, concentrating on immediate needs such as where they’re going to live or what their cash flow looks like over the next 6-12 months. That short-term focus is perfectly natural, but it’s equally important to think about your financial health years down the road.
Working through a full financial plan with an advisor helps show how today’s decisions play out over time and takes the guesswork out of what comes next. At EP Wealth, we use financial planning software to:
When you’re shopping for a financial advisor – whether it’s to help with a divorce or for any other reason – it’s important to understand whether the person you’re considering is a fiduciary. A fiduciary is legally required to act in a client’s best interests. Since not every financial professional is held to that same standard, it’s an important question to ask early in the process.
While credentials matter, the working relationship itself is just as important. Here are some further factors to consider when selecting an advisor when you’re going through a divorce:
Personality fit and communication style:
You’ll be spending a lot of time with your advisor during what can be one of the most difficult periods of your life. It’s important to find someone you actually like and feel comfortable meeting with, who listens carefully, understands what you’re telling them, and explains things clearly. Even if someone is highly recommended, it’s not the right fit if you dread the meetings. My advice is to trust your gut. Sit down with the advisor, visit the office, and meet the people who work there. Get a feel for the environment and go with your instincts if you have a good feeling about someone.
Comfort level discussing personal finances:
It’s also important to find someone with whom you’re willing to be honest about your financial situation. For some people, that can be difficult. They may feel embarrassed about debt or past financial mistakes, and I understand that. I try to reassure clients by telling them, “I’ve seen similar situations before.” My role isn’t to judge, it’s to help you move forward. The more open you can be, the more effectively we can plan for what comes next.

I’ve never seen a couple, even those with significant wealth, go through a divorce without worrying about money. As a result, it’s understandable that some people hesitate to bring in a financial advisor during divorce. It can feel like just one more expense at a time when you’re trying to control costs. What’s important to remember, however, is that your attorney and your financial advisor each play very different, though complementary roles.
Your attorney’s job is to handle the legal side. Your financial advisor is focused only on the numbers. Attorneys appreciate this division of labor because it allows them to hand off financial tasks that an advisor can often handle more efficiently. In some cases, this collaboration may even help reduce unnecessary overlap.
Over the years, I’ve witnessed people operating on both ends of the spectrum: those who have made costly mistakes and others who have made thoughtful, well-informed choices. The difference often comes down to having informed guidance and support. Being able to share that experience and help clients learn from what I’ve seen is one of the most meaningful parts of the work I do.
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Collaborative divorce often offers a cooperative, cost-saving alternative to traditional divorce. EP Wealth’s Regional Director, Kelly Owens, CFP®,...
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