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Building a Financial Plan to Support Aging Parents and Kids
Learn how to balance the financial needs of aging parents and children. Explore planning strategies for high-net-worth families navigating...
EP Wealth's Alina Narr, CFP®, EA, shares helpful tips on how newly married couples can align financial goals, manage debt, and start planning their future together.
A Guide to Financial Planning for Marriage: Building a Financial Foundation
For newly engaged or recently married couples, practical money matters can easily take a back seat to other priorities. However, delaying financial conversations can potentially lead to confusion or tension later on. Candidly addressing topics like spending habits and debt gives couples a chance to clarify expectations, avoid surprises, and align their long-term goals.
As a financial planner, I’ve worked with couples at many stages of life. Some are blending incomes for the first time, others are entering second marriages with existing assets and obligations. In every case, early planning and open communication are key to building a resilient financial future.
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Start the Conversation Early
The earlier couples begin talking about money, the better. I often encourage people to have these conversations before marriage to avoid surprises or unmet expectations later on.
Start by sharing the basics:
- Your income, savings, and investments
- Any debt you’re carrying (student loans, credit cards, etc.)
- Your spending habits and financial priorities
From there, move into future-focused topics like short- and long-term goals. Are you hoping to buy a home in a few years? Support aging parents? Retire early? Even if your goals don’t completely align, understanding each other’s perspectives early on can shape a stronger plan going forward.
It’s also important to respect where your partner is coming from. Everyone has a different relationship with money, often shaped by upbringing. Listen without judgment, and approach the conversation as a team.
Key Areas to Address Early in Marriage
Does My Spouse’s Debt Become My Debt?
This is a very common question for people who are newly married or engaged. Here’s the short answer: Debt incurred before marriage generally remains the responsibility of the individual.
If your partner had credit card or student loan debt before tying the knot, that doesn’t automatically become your obligation.
However, once you’re married, especially in community property states, debts taken on during the marriage may be considered shared, even if only one spouse’s name is on the account. And if you jointly apply for a loan or credit card, both spouses are typically responsible for that debt.
It’s also worth noting that credit scores remain separate, even after marriage. Your spouse’s credit won’t directly affect yours unless you open joint accounts. That said, a lower score from one partner can affect loan eligibility or terms when applying together.
A few ways couples can navigate this:
- Be upfront about existing debts
- Avoid co-signing unless necessary
- Consider a prenuptial agreement that clearly defines each person’s responsibilities. If debt circumstances change after you marry, a postnuptial agreement can formally re-allocate responsibility, just as a prenup would.
- Maintain open communication about credit use and financial commitments
- If one partner has weaker credit, being an authorized user on the joint account (with clear rules around spending) can help boost their score over time—just be sure you both agree on the limits.
Joint or Separate Accounts? How Couples Can Merge Their Finances
There’s no one-size-fits-all answer when it comes to managing finances as a couple. Some merge everything from day one, while others maintain separate accounts long after marriage.
A common structure I see among clients is a hybrid approach:
- A joint account for shared expenses like rent, mortgage, utilities, groceries. Consider setting up an automatic transfer either directly from payroll or from your own separate account for ease of management
- Individual accounts for personal spending or obligations
- A shared or coordinated budget to keep everything aligned
This can be especially helpful when income levels differ or when one partner has significant pre-existing obligations. The split isn’t always 50/50, depending on those variations in income and expenses. Find the split that works for you as a couple. Just be mindful that too many accounts can make things confusing. What starts as a flexible system can become overwhelming without clear organization.
Also, consider whether your emergency fund lives in the joint account, in individual accounts, or split between both—so you know exactly where to pull from when unexpected costs hit.
Whatever approach you choose, the key is communication. Know how much each person contributes, revisit your structure periodically, and make sure both partners feel it’s fair and sustainable.
Common Financial Pitfalls for Married Couples
Over the years, I’ve seen a few themes emerge when couples hit roadblocks with money. Here are some of the more common challenges:
- Lack of communication: Avoiding financial conversations altogether can lead to misunderstandings and resentment. Make time for regular check-ins—even if money feels like an uncomfortable topic.
- Mismatched goals: One partner wants to buy a vacation home, while the other is focused on paying down debt. Or one person prioritizes saving for college, while the other assumes the kids will take out loans. These differences aren’t inherently bad—but without alignment, long-term planning can become a struggle.
- Uncontrolled spending: It’s common for one partner to be more of a spender. Rather than assigning blame, create a shared budget and set specific goals. Having agreed-upon milestones can give structure to daily choices.
- No emergency fund: A foundational step in any household plan is building a cushion for the unexpected. I generally recommend saving 3 to 6 months of essential expenses, especially fixed costs like rent, insurance, and groceries.
- Insurance & Beneficiary Oversights: Overlooking life insurance or retirement-account beneficiaries can leave the surviving spouse in limbo. Consider periodic reviews of policies and designations. Also, if there is one spouse that is the primary income earner, do not overlook disability insurance needs.
- Retirement Savings Imbalance: When one partner maxes out 401(k) or IRA contributions and the other doesn’t, it can create a future disparity. Be sure to track retirement-plan participation side by side.
- No outside guidance: Couples often wait too long to seek help. By the time financial strain shows up, the conversation is already emotionally charged. Having guidance early can help avoid unnecessary tension and surface opportunities you might not have considered.
Budgeting as a Team: Tools, Templates, and Tips
One of the most effective ways couples can build financial clarity is by understanding their cash flow—how much is coming in, how much is going out, and where it’s going. In my experience, most people underestimate their spending, especially on variable or infrequent expenses. That’s why I always recommend starting with a structured approach.
Instead of trying to create a budget from scratch, use a template or checklist—you can easily get a free one from ChatGPT or a similar source—that covers a wide range of expense categories. This makes it easier to account for irregular items like insurance premiums, annual subscriptions, or gifts—things that can easily be overlooked if you’re just estimating month to month.
For couples who want a more dynamic, real-time view of their spending, online tools like Mint.com allow you to link credit cards and bank accounts so you can automatically track where your money is going. Many of our clients are surprised by what they discover—it’s often an eye-opening way to see the real numbers behind their habits.
Once you have a clear picture of your spending, then you can work together to create a budget that reflects your shared goals. Whether you decide to combine finances or keep some accounts separate, having a system in place creates transparency and helps reduce stress when it comes to day-to-day decisions.
Are Prenups a Good Idea?
Prenuptial agreements often carry a stigma, but in many cases they’re simply a way to clarify expectations and protect both individuals going into a marriage.
Prenups can be especially helpful when:
- One or both partners have significant assets, debts, or business interests
- It’s a second marriage and there are children from prior relationships
- There’s a desire to define how finances will be handled if the marriage ends
The primary benefits are clarity and protection. A well-crafted agreement can outline who is responsible for what, and how certain assets or debts should be treated, before emotions or legal pressures complicate the situation.
That said, there are trade-offs. Drafting a prenup involves legal fees, and the document may need to be revisited and updated over time. Because prenups contain legal technicalities and state-specific rules, it’s wise for each partner to consult independent counsel to ensure everyone’s interests are protected There’s also the emotional component—some partners may feel uncomfortable or even hurt by the idea of putting financial boundaries in writing.
In my view, whether a prenup is a good idea comes down to how the conversation around it is handled. If it’s framed as a mutual tool for clarity, rather than a safeguard for just one person, it can actually support healthier communication. It may help to think of a prenup as one tool in your financial planning toolkit—along with creating joint budgets, wills, and trust arrangements—so you’re building transparency and teamwork from the start.
How a Financial Advisor Can Help
- Goal-Setting Support
Help prioritize and align short- and long-term goals - Budget Guidance
Assist in creating a realistic, trackable spending plan - Debt and Credit Planning
Advise on managing existing debt and navigating joint credit decisions - Planning for Milestones
Guide decisions around home buying, children, or major expenses - Coordinated Financial Strategy
Connect planning across taxes, insurance, and estate considerations
How a Financial Advisor Can Help You Plan Together
Marriage is a big step—and so is merging your financial lives. That process can feel overwhelming, with so many moving parts to think about and potential friction to deal with over debt or spending habits. That’s where a financial advisor comes in.
In my role, I often act as a neutral third party, helping couples talk through topics they’ve struggled to address on their own. Professional advisors offer perspective, structure, and an outside lens shaped by years of experience working with couples in similar situations.
Our job isn’t just to help build a budget or retirement plan. We also help clients:
- Prioritize goals when resources are limited
- Consider strategies around taxes, insurance, and estate planning
- Think through long-term implications of today’s decisions
- Stay on track as life—and goals—evolve
Above all, we help bring clarity to the process. Because while marriage is all about the emotional bond, it’s also a financial partnership—and the stronger that foundation, the more confident you can feel about what comes next.
Interested in building your plan together? Learn more about how we support financial planning for couples and families.
Contact an EP Wealth Advisor to learn more.
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