How couples manage their finances can look different for everyone.
EP Wealth's latest blog explores shared versus separate accounts, how communication plays a role in long‑term planning, and why it’s important to consider both financial goals and personal circumstances when making decisions together.
When partners begin planning for a long‑term relationship, a common question that arises is whether to combine their finances.
Many couples encounter this decision as their relationship progresses. Moving in together may involve opening a joint account to manage shared living expenses, while marriage or long‑term partnership often prompts discussions about whether to pool resources or maintain separate savings and investments.
Historically, combining finances was the standard approach, but financial behaviors and expectations have evolved. Younger generations, including many Gen Z couples, are reportedly less likely than previous generations to merge their assets.
There is no single “right” approach. Preferences vary based on individual circumstances, financial goals, and personal values. Examining internalized assumptions and biases about gender and socio-economic status, articulating shared values and agreements, and engaging in practical planning for the future together are important, regardless of the structure chosen.
Some recent research indicates that couples who pool 100% of their finances are happier in their relationships and less likely to break up than couples who keep some or all of their finances separate. Researchers suggest that the act of pooling finances leads to a greater sense of “togetherness,” and this feeling of shared identity and goals contributes to couples’ satisfaction and longevity.
This raises some interesting questions. What habits do couples with merged finances have that lead to stronger relationships? Can these habits be intentionally adopted by couples without merged finances? Can these relationship dynamics be replicated by those of us who don’t want to choose between financial autonomy and a successful life-partnership?
One reason couples who combine resources may be happier is that they are more likely to talk about how big life events, such as becoming parents, will impact them financially. They may also set joint objectives and plan collaboratively to address challenges.
According to the International Association for Relationship Research, couples who pool 100% of their wealth demonstrate increased frequency and quality of communication about money matters in daily life. This seems to lead to a stronger sense of shared purpose, and all of these things contribute to their happiness.
In general, the more couples communicate about challenging topics and envision what their future could look like together, the less likely they are to be blindsided by divergent values or unpleasant surprises.
It is also important to consider risks that may arise in certain circumstances. Some studies do not address situations in which combining finances may increase vulnerability, such as in unhealthy or abusive relationships. Unfortunately, this can be more common than we think, and since abusive dynamics often develop over time, some people may become financially entangled before they realize their relationship is not healthy.
Economic abuse, also known as financial abuse, which includes restricting a partner’s access to financial resources or employment opportunities, is present in 99% of domestic violence cases and is one of the top reasons people choose to stay with their abuser.
Keeping all money in joint accounts can make it easier for abusers to control their partners and prevent them from seeking help.
Joint accounts or fully combined assets can make it easier for an abusive partner to exert financial control. Given that domestic violence affects a substantial portion of adults in the U.S. across genders, it is important for individuals to evaluate their own circumstances carefully before combining assets with a partner.
Whether you decide to pool your finances together or not, intentionality, transparency, and a commitment to communicating openly and honestly about money are critical. Scheduling regular appointments to discuss finances, reflecting on internalized assumptions about financial roles, and talking openly about long‑term plans may help support both the relationship and overall financial well‑being.
DISCLOSURES